It was a warm sunny day in May 1997 when I was awarded my master’s degree from Rutgers University. I was filled with a great sense of relief and an incredible feeling of accomplishment. Three and a half years had passed since I first returned to school to finish my undergraduate degree and eventually earn a Master’s Degree in Social Work. My studies were finally over. At 56 years old I was about to begin a new career. The most challenging years of my life were behind me. Or so I thought.

A month after graduation I went in for a routine physical. To my dismay I discovered I was in serious renal failure. My blood creatinine level was 2.8, more than double the number for normal kidney function. The diagnosis threw me for a loop, but my condition hadn’t exactly come out of the blue. In 1972 I was told that I had minor symptoms of kidney disease that could eventually lead to kidney failure. But it was a slow deterioration, and my doctors reassured me that it would be many years before I would need more radical treatment. In fact, my kidneys had been stable for so long, I almost forgot about my condition.

This time, my doctor immediately referred me to a nephrologist for renal care. I was barely able to enjoy the fruits of my academic accomplishments when my life took this dramatic turn.

After adjusting to the shocking news, I quickly focused on participating in my treatment. I learned that following a strict renal diet could help preserve my remaining kidney function. The discipline I so strongly relied upon to complete my education was to become an integral part of my life again. I immediately searched the Internet and libraries to learn as much as I could about my disease. I followed a very strict renal diet and began jogging 6 days a week. A few months later, I began lifting weights to maintain my strength. I kept dailyblood pressure graphs for my doctor to help him manage my hypertension. I was determined to do everything in my power to stay as healthy as possible so I could continue the pursuit of my new career.

I was determined to do everything in my power to stay as healthy as possible so I could continue the pursuit of my new career

A year passed. My health was still my major focus. And my commitment to preserve my kidneys was stronger than ever. My nephrologist began inviting doctors-in-training to sit in with us during my visit. “The most compliant patient I know,” he would say. I followed the diet so rigidly that my 6'3" 205-pound body was down to 177 pounds. Unfortunately, to the surprise of my doctor, my condition continued to deteriorate.

I do believe that my involvement in my treatment gave me a sense of participation that helped me avoid becoming depressed. At times I felt down, but jogging, weight lifting or planning a meal helped me stay focused instead of feeling helpless. I had no control of my kidney function. But I did have control over participation in my treatment.

Still, I tried to live my life as normally as possible. We traveled to Europe. My nutritionist didn’t think 1 week of regular food would be a problem. However, after only 3 days my ankles began to swell. Since cooking is one of my hobbies, it was a challenge eating lettuce sandwiches instead of delicious-looking ethnic food while I was on vacation. It wasn’t until after I returned from an RV vacation in Alaska that my nephrologists advised, “No more exotic trips.”

The winter of 1998 was long and cold for me. I wore thermal underwear under a sweater and used an electric heater under the desk in my office to keep warm. My clients frequently suggested that I lower the heat. I often had leg cramps, hiccups and was awake for 3 to 4 hours every night. Even though I was exercising daily I felt weak and tired. My body was slowly dying.

It became clear that I was not able to prevent total renal failure and my doctor and I discussed other options. He recommended that I consider a transplant.

Janet, my devoted wife, immediately volunteered to be tested as a possible donor. Although she had never been a patient in a hospital, she was so determined that she had no hesitation about voluntary surgery. She was thrilled when she discovered that she was qualified to give me an opportunity for a normal life again.

Fortunately, my former training in mind and body healing was a great help in managing the transplant procedure. We prepared for surgery with tapes that helped us to relax and focus on enjoying this special event. We worked hard at finding value in every moment. We even brought video and still cameras with us to the hospital. As a result of our special preparation beforehand, it felt more like we were going on vacation rather than into the hospital for major surgeries. On March 30, 1999, we shared in a way very few couples ever do. With the help of our wonderful doctors and staff, Janet gave me her left kidney.

Because of our mind and body healing preparation, my wife and I were released from the hospital in just 3 days.

Because of our mind and body healing preparation, my wife and I were released from the hospital in just 3 days. “Remarkable” was one doctor's comment about our rapid recovery. The nurses could not remember when a transplant patient was discharged in 3 days. “You came in with a healthy mental attitude that made a difference,” a nurse stated.

The following weeks were quite moving. I am extremely happy that we have a record of our experience. One of our most cherished photos is a picture of my new kidney before it was transplanted into my body. Even today, watching the edited video brings back the precious feelings of that wonderful event.

As much as I read about the emotional experience of a spouse donating an organ, the event was infinitely greater than I could ever have anticipated. Tears would well up in our eyes whenever we spoke about the gift that we both share, and how it changed our lives. I was able to eat normally again. The cold body I lived with during the winter was warm again. I was sleeping normally and regaining my strength. My relationship with my wife was stronger than ever. Having a transplant changed my life in so many ways. As a result, I value life so much more these days. And my self-confidence is soaring.

My wife and I just celebrated our 6-year transplant anniversary. My kidney transplant enabled me to continue my dream of a new career. For 26 years, I worked as an industrial pipefitter for a pharmaceutical company. Now, I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in my own private practice. The experience of managing my own disease and subsequent surgery helps me greatly in my work as a therapist specializing in pain management. It gives me immense satisfaction to share my knowledge and experiences with patients who are managing their own medical challenges.

A gift of love that I can never repay.

With sincere gratitude I will always remember the care we received from the medical team as well as the support from our family and friends. Also, I am indebted to so many people that I will never meet. My second chance at life was made possible by continuing contributions from the medical and pharmaceutical community. For 26 years my employment with a pharmaceutical company gave me my financial support. Now, and for the rest of my life, the medications they provide are my life support.

Most important to me is my wonderful wife, Janet, who gave me a gift of love that I can never repay. As Ralph Kramden has often said to Alice in the classic TV show, The Honeymooners, “Baby, you are the greatest.”